ZZZZZZZZZZ

So all those times I said I was tired before I had a baby, I was lying, I didn't know what being tired really felt like. It's been 6 months since I've had a good night of sleep. Hakan's normal night is waking up twice to eat, which is fine, but on his bad nights he wakes up 3, 4 or more times...that's not fine. Even on nights when he only wakes up once, I wake up a bunch of times anticipating him waking up. I don't think I've had my REM sleep in ages...I'm sure I have, just doesn't feel like it. I am exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally. I do miss my naps that I used to be able to take when Hakan was first born, I didn't have to work, when Hakan napped, I napped, not anymore:( If you ask my husband what my favorite hobby is, he knows it's sleeping. I know some day I will be able to sleep again. However, a good friend of mine at church says that I will be tired for the rest of my life...thanks for the positive words of encouragement. We need to go to bed earlier, so it's mostly our fault, it's just hard to change old habits. Just thought I'd share how tired I am, I'm just taking it one day at a time.

My First Hickie...

So in church yesterday, Hakan was getting hungry and when he gets hungry he starts to open his mouth, giggle and lunge at my face, specifically my mouth and chin, it's so adorable, I don't care about getting drool all over my face. Well, he was laughing and happy and all of a sudden he latched on to my chin and I quickly took him off and asked Derek if it was red, it wasn't, but 2 hours later I had a hickie...my first hickie was from my son, so weird and funny!

Hakan is pretty much crawling, he lifts himself up on his feet and hands and then goes on his knees and either seal dives forward or is able to move his hands and knees, it just kind of depends on his mood. He is all over the place, trying to get into everything he can. We're going to have to child proof sooner than I expected.

I'm finding it hard to balance everything in life, it's so hard to do everything. All I want to to do is spend time with my husband and Hakan, but I have to work, and clean, and do laundry, and we want to do stuff with friends, and we need to work out, and there just isn't enough time in the day, enough days in the week. We are slowly learning how to manage and prioritize our time, but it's not easy. I cherish our time together, I love my two boys so much!

Goodbye 2009, you were a wonderful year...

I will start off by saying I'm a terrible blogger. I'm pretty sure blogging every 5 months doesn't really suffice as blogging, but I'll keep trying:)

I'm sitting here on the first day of 2010, crazy, thinking about how blessed I am. I was about 11 weeks pregnant this time last year wondering what life with a baby was going to be like...it's been amazing! Hakan is 5 months now and I love him to pieces! His smile, there's nothing in the world like it, it just melts my heart and makes all my troubles disappear. I could have a bad day at work, but when I walk in the door and see him smiling at me, there is really no better feeling. All the noises he makes now are hilarious and just make me laugh, squeals, coo's, screeches, oooo's, so funny. He is rolling all over the place and just started trying to go up on his knees, Derek gives him like 3 weeks before he starts crawling, right now he can just scoot backwards:) He can sit up on his own, not from laying down, but if you sit him up he can balance himself. He loves bath time. We just started putting him in the big bath and loves to squirm and splash around in there. He loves the water like his mom and dad. We're going to try and take him swimming soon, I'm so excited for that.
. We just started feeding him cereal, he did really well, no gagging and most of it stayed in his mouth. Side note on the cereal, I am making my own rice cereal and I had the book in the kitchen and part of the corner was on the burner and I had a pot of water on the back burner and meant to turn that one on, but instead turned on the front one...there was smoke and almost a fire, oops. It's all good though, just a little charred on the dust cover:) He is such a good baby, he only fusses if he's super hungry or tired, otherwise he's so happy. He's not sleeping through the night yet, still wakes up a couple times to eat, but I'm okay with that for now...in a couple months it might start wearing me out.
We had a great Christmas. We spent a week in ND with both our families. First half of the week with my family and the second half with Derek's. It's pretty nice because our families live 3 blocks apart from each other, so we get to see a lot of both of them. Jamestown ended up getting around 25 inches of snow starting Christmas eve and we were snowed in for 3 days, my step dad had to come pick us up and plow through the snow on the streets to get back and forth between our houses. When it came time to leave that Sunday, he had to pull us out of town to the plowed roads, because they still hadn't plowed most of the streets. There was so much snow!!! We spent Christmas eve with Derek's family and went to the candle light service at his church, I love that service, candles, little kid bell choir, people singing, playing instruments, a good message on the meaning of Christmas and family. Hakan opened his presents...with a little help from dad and sucked on the paper, he loves wrapping paper:) Christmas day we were with my family and sadly because of the snow half of them coudn't make it from Fargo, but we still had a fun day together.
This Santa didn't have the happy twinkle in his eye...but Hakan was happy:)

2009 will always be the year Hakan was given to us, a gift from God. We have so much to be thankful for, and give God all the credit. He is so faithful, and I only pray that we can be the servants he deserves. Here is to the start of another tax season and another wonderful year. I'm so excited to see what God has in store for us:) Happy New Year!!