The Life of a Crayon

Hakan's crayons are in rough shape.  If they haven't been dropped and broken on the floor, he has taken bites out of them.  They look so sad.

First Fish

Today was the fist time we made fish in our house.  It was also my first time eating a whole piece of fish...besides the fish sticks my mom fed us growing up.  We made Halibut with black beans and a cilantro salsa, it was really good, kind of just tasted like chicken:)  I also loved all the colors that went with it!

I have just never liked the thought of seafood, slimy, scaley, bug-eyed fish being put into my mouth.  It just grosses me out.  It probably has something to do with growing up in ND and with a mom who also doesn't really do seafood or much else for that matter.

When my sister and I were younger, I think I was around 8, we went to Seattle to visit some family, and went to quite a few restaurants on the ocean.  I stuck with chicken strips, but my sister ate 8 fried baby octopus...I remember almost throwing up watching her.

Anyway, we want to make sure Hakan tries a lot of different foods, which means that we need to also try a lot of different foods, which besides seafood, I think we do a pretty good job of doing.

Needless to say, Hakan gagged on the fish and only ate rice and black beans.  Kind of weird because he loves grilled chicken.  But we will keep trying.  I read it can take up to 15 times for someone to try something to like it.

My Little Snowboy

Hakan loves to be outside, raining, snowing, below zero, he would live outside if he could.  He cries when we go out the door and to the car and cries when we go from the car to inside.  

On March 23rd, we had another, and hopefully last snow storm.  I decided that this would be the last snow we get (fingers crossed) so Hakan and I went outside for the afternoon to take it all in.  He was in snow heaven:)

And yes, I used packaging tape to keep his mittens on, worked like a charm!

Isn't he just precious?

An Emotionally Draining Morning

I will start off by saying that I am writing this blog out of pure frustration and emotional unstability right now...I've cried about 4 or 5 times already today, not a very good morning to say the least, and I think I'm done for the day.

I had a dr. appt this morning with an another ultrasound because they couldn't get a good picture of the spine last time.  I've been nervous for the 4 weeks leading up to this day.  I kept telling myself everything was fine, but there's always that worry that likes to creep in and "what ifs".  Hakan coudn't come with me like he normally does, no kids allowed in the ultrasound room, so I got a sitter to come over.

My sitter was supposed to be here at 9:00, at 9:05 I texted to make sure she was on her way, no text back.  At 9:10 I called, no answer.  I finally get a text a little bit after I call saying she's sick.  Oh man, I now have about 10 minutes to get Hakan ready to go out in our March 23rd blizzard and drive the 15 minutes it takes to get there for my appt. that is in 10 minutes.  First cry of the day.  I had zero time to find someone else to watch Hakan, no one we can just randomly call and drop him off with and now they weren't going to be able to do the ultrasound.

Then I call Derek to tell him, cry number 2.

We get there about 10 minutes late, I tell them I have my baby with and I understand you can't have kids in the room.  They call me back to take my blood for my glucose test, the nurse asks if we didn't get the ultrasound because we were late, cry number 3...no, it really wasn't my fault, I say between sobs.  Then she takes us to the room.  The ultrasound tech says that we can have Hakan sit/stand next to us while she's doing it because it should be quick, praise the Lord!!  She was so very nice and even tried to get a good picture of our little girl, but she was hiding her face, again.  Hakan did fantastic, just standing on the chair, my little angel, for the moment:)

Then we met with the dr. and the spine looks great!  What a relief!  The heart rate is good, my blood pressure is good, now we just have to wait on the results from the glucose test, hopefully good.

However, I did have to go in on Monday for a bladder infection, which I used to get a lot when I was younger, but not in a really long time, they're horrible.  Of course they prescribed the medicine without being entirely sure it was the right one to treat it, I picked it up, I've taken 4 doses out of 14 and they called today to tell me I need a different one.  So money wasted on that, cry number 4, but hopefully this new one kicks the infection. 

Of course I'm just way more emotional than usual, but I don't think I broke down at the dr office when pregnant with Hakan until about 38 weeks, so I'm starting early this time, great:)

I'm just praying for a better afternoon.  I'm very thankful that our baby girl is healthy and right where she should be. 

My Little Trooper

I absolutely adore our brave little man.

It started about a month ago at a urology appt., we finally made the decision to see one after our pedi not knowing what the little hole on top of Hakan's penis was since he was born.  She just always asks us if pee comes out of it, and we were 99% sure it didn't.

So the dr. said that sometimes boys can be born with 2 urethra tubes connecting to the bladder, it's very rare, but possible.  He didn't really think Hakan's went all the way back, but that is was a partial one.  To be sure though, he wanted to do a procedure to get a look inside.

Which brings us to this morning.  I was so nervous.  Hakan had his light breakfast (which is his normal breakfast anyway)  and then we headed to St. Paul for the appts.  First, they did an ultrasound of his belly, he laid on the table so nice for the lady. 

 Then we headed to the prep room where we waited 25 minutes, but luckily they had one of those Little Tikes cars you can ride in, so he just went up and down the hall loving all the attention from the nurses in his purple little gown and yellow socks (I wish I would've took some pics).

They were finally ready, I had to stand in the hall and watch through the window while they gave him some laughing gas (not good for a preggo mom to inhale that), he got to put stickers on the mask and of course he had to help the nurse hold it on, my little helper:)  They then placed a catheter in him, he did perfect...I on the other hand was in the hall crying.  I pulled myself together and they let me back in and he was just talking away.

They gave him teddy grahams and he became their new best friend and ate 2 bags worth.  He was then wheeled over to get some xrays taken.  The tech started telling me that I couldn't be in there either and this time there wasn't a window, I lost it, sobbing like a baby, luckily Hakan was so engrossed in his teddy grahams he didn't notice.  I again pulled myself together and went into the hall.  They filled his bladder really uncomfortably full and then make him pee.  He started crying, and I started crying again pacing in the hall.  It only lasted about 5 minutes, thank goodness.  They were just looking to see if everything flowed properly.  I got to go back in and hug my baby, he was totally fine, eating some more teddy's.

Then we went to the follow up appt.  Everything is fine, there's only one tube, which is great.  So basically it's cosmetic.  He will have surgery on May 12th to get it fixed, this time he'll be totally put under.  I'm nervous again, but thankful it's a small surgery and not something more, and I know he'll do great.

Every time he peed today he cried, I felt so helpless.  It should be better by tomorrow hopefully, it just breaks my heart.  Thanks for the prayers!!

2nd Time Around

Being more than half way done with this pregnancy is just surreal. We haven't really thought about anything with the new little one, which is a girl by the way:) With Hakan, we had to make sure we had everything, crib, swing, highchair, bouncer, and lots lots more, but since we have all of that, there's not much to think about...and we're so busy it's hard to even try. We're trying to wrap our minds around having a girl, I think we're just used to our little man who is such a boy, she's going to be completely different, we're excited to meet her:)

Being pregnant with her has been a little different than Hakan. For example, for the first time in I'm pretty sure my entire life, the skin on my face is extremely dry, crazy dry. I'm one of those that had acne in high school, not fun, thanks dad. So normally, my skin is pretty oily, which I've heard is a good thing when you get older, not as many wrinkles...:)

Another thing, my lower back has been pretty sore. That's not necessarily from her, just having Hakan to pick up and pick up after I think has me bending over a ton more. I'll just need some more massages from Der.

She moves a lot more than Hakan did, constantly. It's not little movements either, they're quick jabs, a lot of times right on my bladder, not cool baby.

I also think I'm more hormonal this time around...just a tad emotional and irrational sometimes.

There's also another thing that's been extremely elevated...but I don't quite think it's quite appropriate blog material:)

I have to get another ultrasound at my next appointment, they apparently didn't get a good enough image of the spine. So they call and tell me this and make me wait another 4 weeks to know if everything is ok. We're just praying everything is fine and she just wasn't in a good position.

Rough Week is an Understatement

Every year for the past 3 years Derek goes to Miami for 10 days for a nonprofit audit. The first year was a breeze, we spent our first 2 years dating long distance and a quarter of our first year married living apart...piece of cake. The next year, Hakan was about 6 months, I was working 3 days a week and he wasn't walking yet so I was still able to get some stuff done, it went by pretty fast.

This year...horrible. It didn't help that Der was gone the week before for 5 days as well, so he was gone 17 days in a month, that's a long time. I was determined to be positive and take it in stride, I've done it before, it'll be fine. So Der left on a Sunday afternoon, we did fine on Monday, we went to the zoo with a friend and had a great morning. We love the zoo:)

Tuesday, Hakan goes to the sitter, because I have a meeting on Tuesday mornings and then I can get a lot of work done in the afternoon. He loves playing with his friends there. Then Wednesday we just hung out at home, I got some work done in the afternoon while Hakan napped, but then

Wednesday night, dun, dun, dun...we were skyping with daddy like we had every night and Hakan just starting throwing up, so much throw up and continued for over an hour and then a couple times during the night. Derek had a front row seat for that, ew. Hakan actually slept pretty well that night. Thursday, Hakan was not himself, he just layed on the couch with me and dozed in and out of sleep, very cuddly and cute:) I guess that's the upside. Then after putting Hakan to bed, he just started crying around 9:00 and nothing I did could get him to calm down and go to sleep, so I brought him into bed with me, don't judge. He doesn't actually like to sleep with us, but this was an exception, we slept the whole night. However, right before I had gone in to get him from his room, I threw up, ugh, great. So I had a horrible night waking up constantly to run to the bathroom.

On Friday, I felt like the worst, neglectful mom ever. Hakan was doing much better and while I dozed in and out of sleep on the couch, he did pretty well entertaining himself, which normally he's not so interested in. Trying to drag myself to make him food, change his diapers, make sure he wasn't getting into stuff, so hard. Bed time couldn't come soon enough. We finally went to bed, in our own beds, and both slept pretty good, except for the cough Hakan had developed, which woke him up a few times.

On Saturday, we just stayed inside, recooperated and relaxed. Hakan wasn't sleeping through the night, so we were both pretty tired.

Instead of going to church on Sunday, I didn't want to get too close to people, we ran to Petco to get Bear some food, she was completely out. Our first trip out of the house in 4 days, then spent the rest of the day at home.

I decided on Monday that we both needed to get out of the house for a while, so we went to the zoo, did I mention we love the zoo. It was perfect, Hakan got to run through the Tropics trail and I just followed.

Tuesday, one more day until Derek comes home. Hakan went to the sitters, thank goodness, it was needed for both of us. I got a ton of much needed work done. This is our busiest time for Get Your Rear In Gear 5k's, we had our first 2 races in NC last Saturday, so lots to do and a bad time to get sick.

Derek gets home on Wednesday!!! I had washed every sheet, towel, clothing, etc, cleaned and sanitized everything, in hopes that Derek would not catch whatever we had. After putting Hakan to bed, Hakan threw up. We're not sure if it was left over from what we had or what, but he was extremely gassy, pooped all night and didn't sleep much. Welcome home honey! So we were all exhausted on Thursday. Ugh, can we be done now.

Last night, Derek started not feeling well and then spent the rest of the night running to the bathroom. He never gets sick, so very weird. Apparently my cleaning did nothing to prevent him from getting sick, shoot. On the upside, Hakan slept all night:)

So this brings us to today, Derek stayed home sick, I had to get some work done and we all took a nap this afternoon. I am praying that this is the end of it and we can all feel better. Hakan still isn't eating very much and I think his stomach is still upset. Anyway, I'm extremely glad that Derek is home now...and feeling a little better tonight. Praying for a better next 10+ days:)